June and the Hardest Question
It’s hard to imagine we are already halfway through 2023. June, the month of endings (think the school year) and new beginnings (graduations). It is also a time of transition as we get ready for summer and often a different schedule, different activities (outdoor concerts anyone?), more daylight, more picnics, and BBQs. I find it is a good time to stop and assess what has happened with my personal goals, not just the ones related to health. What is working? What went out the window in the twinkling of an eye in January? What course adjustments would I like to make over the summer? Are there special events that will make change hard, maybe vacation plans? As I think about the above questions, I’ve found the hardest one for folks to answer is: “What went well?” In business settings this technique is used to sift and sort how a project is going. As you can imagine, to keep a team motivated the positives are seen along with the “challenges” (as they are often called, as opposed to “negatives”). It is the same with individuals. Celebrating even small victories is critical to long-term success. It is what fuels the energy needed to run the marathon to meet your goal(s) and to keep our efforts in perspective.
There is a saying I use a lot in the office with my clients: Perfect is the enemy of good. For most of us, “good” or a good enough effort will keep us moving toward our goal(s). Perfectionism will usually get us stuck as we overfocus on what didn’t go “right.”
Reflection
1) Take 2-3 days to think about all that has gone well with your goals since the beginning of 2023. Count everything that was helpful, no matter how big or small. It all pointed you toward your goal. Know each step is/was important. A couple of tips if your list seems short, or this list-making suggestion seems annoying.
+Check this out for ideas if you are stuck on what items belong on your list:
+Know that it is OK to list things that you have tried that didn’t work out. It gave you ideas about what would work -and that can be helpful in getting you to your goal.
2) Once you have finished your list, give it another day or two and see if more things come up. I suggest this, as no matter how much time I spend with clients at the beginning of a session talking about what went well, we usually stumble onto more things later in the session. As a culture, especially for women, we are not encouraged to practice self-compassion and self-forgiveness. I hope you can hold the pleasure of success and use it toward your goals.
What Went Well?