Binge-Eating, Overeating: What If It Isn’t About Willpower? Part I
Note: This blog is probably the most common conversation I have with my nutrition clients. Not everyone will agree with the language or framework I describe here. It is based on my experience with clients who come with a wide range of food issues and I’ve found it provides a quick way to help them pull out of often destructive behavior. This is meant to only be one of many tools for nourishing mind-body and spirit. Its’ usefulness will depend on your needs.
Binging, overeating – who knew the answer would lie in a three-fer: mind, body and spirit. Not with teeth grinding willpower as most folks think- but in a way that honors you and your humanity (not to mention your physical need for nourishment).
Let’s start with two of the three elements, mind and body* first, by distinguishing between hunger and appetite- a big order for most folks who feel defeated by any food craving or wish to eat extra food. For the sake of conversation, I define hunger as the physiological need to eat and appetite as the psychological longing for food; this is where stress and emotional eating live. So, how to tell the difference? These questions can help:
· Did you eat more than 2-4 hours ago?
· Did you have enough calories to last you at least 3-4 hours?
· Did the meal include a combo of protein, carbohydrates and fat?
Consider your answers to identify Hunger vs. Appetite:
If you answered “yes” to the first question and/or no to the other ones, then assume you are Hungry; your body needs fuel.
o How much fuel you need will depend on your answers above. This is where self-trust -aka inner wisdom,or intuition comes in. Trusting that you need to re-fuel, trusting that you know how much and which foods are best for you at that moment (See #1 in Resources below). By the way, a telltale sign you’ve gone too long without refueling can be a craving (often extreme) for sweets or other foods. When I’ve asked clients to answer these questions, most don’t have much experience trusting their body and inner wisdom about food. I think this is the spiritual part of this situation- leaning on your inner voice to help guide your way. A quick reminder: A hearty snack or small meal will let you know in about 15 minutes (the amount of time it takes for your body to register that re-fueling has started) if this was the issue.
If you answered “no” to the first question and yes to the others, there is a chance it could be Appetite.
o First step, check to see if there are stressors nudging you toward food. Know that this is a critical time and decision to make, as most folks want to assume they are not hungry (no matter what their body is telling them) and they are losing control or lacking willpower. If you are using “grinding teeth effort” not to eat – if this is the feeling- it is more likely Hunger. Per above, eating is the solution, not arguing with your hungry self (that is now in survival mode) .
o If it is appetite, then it is time for a different strategy than grinding your teeth or digging your heels in and resisting. Because I work with folks who are trying to manage food differently, the following explanation will focus on food related issues, but know much of this can be applied to other situations where you are trying to avoid an undesired outcome. Unfortunately, this is not the time to have a conversation with yourself about restraint and eating fruit -gosh, I wish it was this simple. As humans we are not designed this way. There are many paths that can lead to these situations, ie, stress, a need for distraction, a work deadline, events beyond your control, etc. The steps toward overeating (or eating off plan) gain momentum over time and by the time you are around temptation, odds are not in your favor that “No!” will work. In Part II of this blog, I’ll talk about how to prevent or stop these situations, but for the moment, I want to focus on damage control, or how to pull yourself out of the fire as quickly as possible. My approach may seem paradoxical, but stay with me for a few minutes while I explain.
I could go on for some time about the pros/cons of eating when you are stressed or out of your emotional comfort zone. But I have come to believe it is better to eat during times like this, rather than to get into a wrestling match with your emotional needs. That conversation needs to wait until you aren’t stressed or upset (more in Part II of this blog). But – and this is a BIG caveat - I’m going to suggest eating needs to be done with some structure or routine or ritual so you can avoid the usual guilt and self-loathing that comes with these moments. And, once again, this is where self-trust from self-knowledge and your inner guide play a big role.
So how to go about this?
Ask yourself, is it volume or a specific taste you are after?
If it is volume you are after – what are some low calorie, high volume foods that you can have and not worry about quantity? (Air-popped popcorn and popsicles are my go to). Mentally note what they might be doing for you and enjoy. Often, in this scenario, I’m dealing with boredom. Or when I’m out of my comfort zone, maybe I have to make a difficult decision and wasting time with mindless eating gives me the space I need to process things.
If it is a taste you are after, I have found a moderate amount is key. Not one cookie, but 2-3 cookies. Sometimes it is helpful to have a calorie guideline, eg, 200 -300 calorie. Often folks set themselves up for failure by trying to eat an unrealistically small amount of whatever they are craving. When they want to eat more (like most humans would do) much guilt ensues with a large dose of “I’ve blown it so might as well continue eating”…creating the chance a large amount of calories will be eaten (yes, a self-fulfilling prophecy). A way to prepare for this scenario might include:
o Create a routine or ritual to keep yourself in the moment. (there’s spirituality showing up again). For example, if you are craving a brownie, think about going to your favorite coffee shop to have one along with a cup of coffee or tea. Or maybe you have a special tea you only drink under these circumstances so that it is a treat to honor a difficult time.
o Next, and this very important: Enjoy! Go slow, savor the treat, savor the down time, think about what might be triggering this longing along with the feelings that are coming up. If you can’t get out of the house, definitely get out of the kitchen! Head to a favorite place in your home or outside, sit down with your treat and a cup of coffee or tea; enjoy, go slow, enjoy the treat and time.
o Take a few deep breaths- the universal antidote for all things crazy.
What if you have hunger and appetite at the same time? Most folks know that an ounce of prevention will go a long way for managing this scenario. As most of us know, not getting enough calories through-out the day is but one of several set-ups for a blood sugar drop that will cause a physiological need to eat lots of sweets and/or lots of food in general (See #2 in Resources below). So, first priority is to refuel. You’ve got to eat. And it needs to be something that is nourishing. You deserve the best no matter how or why you find yourself in these situations. Refueling needs to include protein, carbohydrates, fat. Bars”, (ie protein bars, granola bars, etc) won’t do. It needs to be real food and enough of it to let your body know help is on the way. Something as simple as cheese and fruit or yogurt with nuts will get you started, but it needs to be followed up with the amount of protein, carbohydrates and fat you would have at least in a small meal. As mentioned, once you start eating, it will take about 15 minutes for your body to register that things are about to get better and give you better cues as to how much you need to eat in order to rebalance things. Think of ways to bide your time. Here’s where rituals can help. Ideas include things you have probably heard/read about for years like take a walk, grab a cup of coffee/tea and a magazine. No eating in the kitchen or standing up eating out of boxes/ containers. Set a place at the table, sit down and enjoy whatever you have decided to eat. And don’t forget the deep breaths.
No matter the goal, as mentioned, prevention is the best remedy for any of the above scenarios. The more forethought and planning, the more likely it is that you will follow through on a game plan. Before a crisis, is the time to set the stage for success instead of trying to manage things on the fly. In Part II, we’ll take a deep dive into the tools needed to manage vacations, staying with your in-laws who love to bake and BBQ or maybe your monthly book club with friends.
Reflection
What are your everyday high risk situations? Maybe someone brings donuts into work every Thursday morning or fast food drive-throughs call your name on the way home from work. What are the occasional high-risk situations? Visiting family? Travel whether for work or for personal reasons?
What needs to be in place to prevent that crazy hungry feeling from happening? What are the challenges to making this happen?
What are rituals that could help manage food when you are caught off-guard by hunger? By appetite?
*In other posts, I’ve used the following to define mind-body-spirit:
Mind as things like food/exercise records
Body as the physical aspects of your being like exercise, blood sugar levels, hormones that regulate your hunger level
Spiritual as meditation, sitting with the unknown, mindfulness, grace, soul. There are many words used throughout the world to describe what I’ve come to believe is indescribable.
Resources:
1- If this feels scary or out of your lane, background on “intuitive eating” might be helpful. This is a great resource: https://www.intuitiveeating.org/10-principles-of-intuitive-eating/ . Also, https://www.susanmoorerd.com/new-blog-2/2023/8/13/nourishment-and-risk-taking-stepping-out-of-your-comfort-zone-part-i and https://www.susanmoorerd.com/new-blog-2/2023/8/31/nourishment-amp-risk-taking-part-ii
2- https://www.susanmoorerd.com/onlineclasses-1. Scroll to the second offering: Macronutrients & Blood Sugar. View this video for free using this code: binge100.